Did Someone Say “Mash-Up”?

/in /by

Why, yes!  But it’s not some Rocky Horror Picture Show/Lady Gaga hybrid this time (unfortunately).

I was reading this article from the New York Times (yes, I realize it’s a few months old…so I have a little catching up to do) about the future in media consumption.  The article’s interesting as a whole, but the word “Mash-Ups” naturally caught my eye, and a good point was actually raised:

“MASH-UPS AND HYBRIDS WILL RULE Everything that can be mashed together will be. The Tea Party will do a debate with CNN, and the Showtime series “Homeland” will be a cable series, an on-demand product, an app and a community. That informational crawl at the bottom of your television set? It could come from the broadcaster or it might come from Twitter. Soon the Oscars award show could be accompanied by comments from your wisecracking friends, not on your phone but on the bottom of your flat-screen. Huge world events will first appear on social media platforms and then leap to mainstream media and back again. The books you read to your children will take over when you are tired and read themselves, or they might turn into a game when the joys of unadorned narrative begin to bore.”

I’m kinda looking forward to this new world, personally.  In fact, I kinda wish I had books that turned into games when I was a kid.  Namely, my textbooks – which I turned into games manually, by swiveling my chair 90 degrees to a Solitaire game.  Kids those days.

However, while it has its pros and it has its cons, I like this idea of integration.  I feel like it’s where we’re going as a whole, what with this ability to contact someone on the other side of the world in under a second.  Whether it’s a clash or a collaboration, everything’s coming together quickly.  For better or for worse, it creates more color in the world, more influences, more ideas, and to me it makes this place a great deal more interesting.

Of course, eventually, we’ll all be integrated enough that the world will likely be reduced to some global version of that uniform, prehistoric village of sorts where everyone in the pack looked, acted and thought the same.  But I’ll hopefully be long dead by then.

And no, I don’t believe that the idea of “villages” were really a part of prehistoric times.  Or humans for that matter. But I said what I said, so deal.

 

 

Garfield the cat and art manipulation – whadda match!

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The first thing I ever found funny in life was probably Garfield the cat.  And say what you want, I will defend him until the day I die.

One thing I’ve also always been interested in, though, is seeing my favorite pieces of art – songs, movies, cartoons, etc. – be creatively manipulated.  Which would explain why I have a comedygasm every time I see a parody or satire, and why I have more mash-ups and cover songs in my music collection than…most other people you know.

There are – not one, but – TWO glorious manipulations of Garfield comics that are a – procrastination enablers, and b – sometimes (lots of times) funnier than the original.  Both have been around for years, but I forgot they existed and just remembered again, so now I’m reminding you again in case you forgot.

The Garfield Randomizer  takes three comic panels at random and splices them together.  Most of the time it still makes sense.

Garfield Minus Garfield takes Garfield out of the comic strips, making Jon Arbuckle look like a lunatic.  Observe:

 

 

 

 

There.  My thoughts for the night are complete.  But I’m not done talking about Garfield, so consider yourself warned.

Because I was looking to get a larger penis too…

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So, I have a little guilty pleasure for spam mail.  I love reading – and laughing at – the subject headings on them, especially with the penis enlargement ads.

I remember the first time I got a male enhancement e-mail.  I was in the high school library – my first time there – and the librarian was showing me how to do something that required me to check my e-mail for a confirmation.

This lady’s looking over my shoulder the entire time.  I had yet to receive the e-mail confirmation.  But I did have one new message: “Viagara 40% off!  Pleasure her all night!”

Little did I know I’d be pleasured for the next 11 years and counting, because they’ve only been trying harder and harder (no pun intended) since their debut.

So without further ado, I spent a rainy afternoon down a rabbit-hole of spam e-mail, and re-lived a few good memories…here’s the best of the best.

COCKZILLA is the word

The original lyrics to “Grease” no doubt.  They must have nixed it when they realized “COCKZILLA’d Lightning” didn’t have the same ring to it.

Wonder pills for thrills

Among the hills.  Desire fills.  Won’t jack up your bills.  Do you have gills?  Take it easy, Shakespeare. 

Crazy girls gone wilder

I don’t think “crazy” was a good word to use here.  I saw this and immediately imagined a Tonya Harding/Casey Anthony sex tape.

So hard you can break an egg

The mechanics of this one are mind-boggling.  The next time I’m in such a situation, I think I’m gonna put this theory to use and see if you CAN break an egg this way.  Or submit it to MythBusters.

Hot Latinas banged by Germans

That just sounds like a lost chapter from my world history book.

Dreaming of a White Christmas? 

I rolled my eyes at this first.  Then I saw it was actually spam from Radioshack, and laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

You will love the results on your organ

Little does the consumer know they’re actually talking about pancreas enhancement here.

Boob jobs that look like these

So, this was from a sender called “Penis Growth Promo.”  Frankly, I think this is one company that’s just spreading themselves way too thin.

And that’s all I got for now.  Unfortunately, my spam folder auto-deletes occasionally, so I couldn’t dig back more than a few months.  But if you’ve got any good doozies, submit them to me and maybe – JUST MAYBE – I’ll owe you a cookie.